Monday, March 12, 2012

you're fine kid


Okay so I'm not quite there yet, but I have to own my part in this. Me and my ex were not a bad couple. We didn't have a bad relationship. It wasn't bad. And because of that I didn't know how to justify our end. So I made it bad. I made him bad, I made life bad, I made my future bad hoping to purge myself through this and come out the opposite of all this bad. I guess I was dry heaving my way through it. I just needed to relax and breath and move on.

So - I texted him. I asked to have coffee. He opens up immediately. I stick to the task at hand. Coffee/breakfast? Yes. The first contact wasn't terrible. It was nice. But what if he talks about a new relationship? What if he talks about how great he is? What if.....I'm trying to turn myself inside out again. But I know inside myself that this is good. This is new for me. I've always cut and run. Perhaps I've just been afraid of being wrong, not being enough, facing my own fears of rejection. So, now (that I know better - and know MYSELF better) I'm kinda looking forward to seeing my friend.

I'll let you know how it goes.....WAIT FOR IT!

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